Excuse me, but what I like to eat, what I like or dislike in my bed, who I hang out with, who was my ex, or what is my religious belief is not something that concerns anyone but me. Recent research into the effects of secrecy is teaching us how to navigate this tricky area. (This one's a little tough.) Most of us end up telling at least one other person the secret we were supposed to keep, which might then burden the other person to keep the secret confidential. These cookies do not store any personal information. suppress verb. Marcia focused on inspiring a future-focused culture and empowering cross-functional teams to become the heart of the organization. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. I call that one red flag. . A sub-group of a larger department, team, family unit, or cohort is planning an action that could negatively affect the other members of the group. Social psychologist Daniel Wegner’s theory of thought suppression says that when we try not to think about something, we often just end up thinking about it more. Be Happy and Effective at Work. Excerpts from her books Outsmart Your Brain and Wander Woman have appeared in many places including Harvard Management Review, Employment Relations Today, Forbes.com, CNN.com, Psychology Today and The Los Angeles Times and she has appeared on ABC World News. Only minutes after threatening to torture her friends for not letting her in on The Masquerade earlier, she proceeds to start telling the next people she sees, which is exactly why they didn't tell her in the first place. Like all mindfulness practices, you need to check in with your brain and catch your thoughts before you fall down the rabbit hole. Unless it is someone else’s secret I have vowed to keep. Prior to starting her own business, Marcia’s greatest success story came as a result of designing the employee development program for a semiconductor manufacturing company facing bankruptcy. When you can, refuse to take on other people’s secrets so you can better manage your secret-holding brain. Marcia Reynolds, PsyD., is the author of two leadership books, The Discomfort Zone and Wander Woman. We do not often find ourselves in interactions that are related to our secrets, and when we do, we are usually prepared to navigate those treacherous waters. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Working with the executive staff, the company turned around and became the #1 stock market success in the United States when they went public in 1993. She was one of the first 25 people in the world to earn the Master Certified Coach designation. Synonyms. For more information on how we use cookies, see our, Vunela Learn (BETA) coming soon. Whether you’re the leader of a company, a department, a team, or just yourself, having the skills to motivate, inspire and move people to action is essential. (borderline) Feb 24 2009 04:08:11. This makes it twice as hard to keep that secret your friend trusted you with, and even regret is not as powerful as being the reporter, announcer, or know it all. July, 113(1):1-33. I swear. Psychology Today © 2021 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Surprising Benefits of Physical Exercise on Sex And Orgasms, Two Ways Religion and Spirituality Help to Boost Resilience, How Social Restrictions Impact Human Trafficking, Why Some Bipolar Disorder Patients Are Lithium Non-Responders, Keeping the secret is more stressful than revealing it. Depending on the secret, you may not want to tell other people that you knew before they did. She is a founding member and was the 5th global president of the International Coach Federation. Don’t let them consume your mental and physical energy. Why not make the most of it? 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